This year is a Christmas of firsts. My first Christmas being married, and my first Christmas away from my family. My husband's entire family lives in Michigan, and since we celebrated locally last year, we're headed to the Midwest for the holidays this year. In my 28 years, this will be my first Christmas ever away from home.
Not going to lie, I'm a little sad to not be a part of my usual Christmas morning celebrations with my family. I thrive on tradition; the way we open our stockings, the bacon-egg casserole we eat every Christmas morning, the way we rotate who opens presents in front of the cracking fire. While I'm excited to share in my husband's tradition, I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic for my own. My wish is that one day, when we have our own kids and our Christmases move to our home, we'll form our own slough or traditions that become "ours," instead of "his" and "hers."
So I ask: Do you share your Christmases with your partner/spouse's family? How do you find a balance to share and continue holiday traditions?
image/lilbee
11 comments
We alternate, Savannah one year, Seattle the next. It's always sort of bittersweet for one of us. Maybe one day when we have kids, we'll start a new tradition and just make everyone come to us. :)
Last year was my first married Christmas and my first Christmas away from my family. It was nice, but I really hate being away from my family. The important thing is to be with your husband though. Even though it's different, it's fun! I adore the chaos of my larger family, but quieter celebrations can be good too.
My husband's family doesn't have Christmas traditions (and I struggle against thinking that's weird). My family has a very strong tradition: Children's mass on christmas eve, big extended family party at grandmas to follow. The party may be low key some years, it may involve mariachis or other entertainment on other years, but we are always celebrating together on christmas eve night.
This will be our second year not spending Christmas eve or Christmas day with any of our relatives. I'm sad, but a little excited to build traditions of our own. We will have family visiting us between Christmas and New Year's, but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will be totally ours. I'm sure it will be bittersweet, but at least our little family will be together.
It's a tough transition. We used to alternate years, and that first Christmas away from my family was weird. Now we have kids of our own and have told everyone we'll be spending Christmas day at our own house from now on. That's a tough transition too. Grandmas have to choose. It is difficult to go through these transitions, but life goes on, things change, families adapt...traditions are good, but then I like making new ones too. :-)
Since we lived in Chicago for so long, we took turns visiting each others families. Last year we spent Thanksgiving with my family in Kansas and came to Kentucky for Christmas. Now that we live in Kentucky things will be different because we'll get to spend Christmas with both our families (although on the actual day we'll be in KS). I can't wait to be able to not travel though, but I'm not sure that will ever happen. It all works out though - it's all about sacrificing and compromising :)
I am bumming hard this year since I work Christmas :( I am hoping that when we have kids, we can blend and have our families come to us and create a blend of our own...Christmas is his mom's holiday, so she won't go without a fight :)
My boyfriend's family is in Los Angeles, a long trek from New York City. I'd gladly go, but because of a few family issues, he chooses not to go home for the holidays. So by default we we celebrate with my family in Philadelphia. In some ways it's good, but I can't help to feel a little sad about that.
Our family's tradition is that we don't really have a tradition. We do something different every Christmas, which I love!
My fiance and I have shared our Christmases with our families for the past 4 Christmases. Luckily, most of our family is in the greater Seattle area so it's a bit easier. We've done Christmas morning at my mum's house, then Christmas dinner at his grandma's house, and vice versa. We basically "family hop" during the holidays :-)
Since my parents are divorced now, we do Christmas Eve with my Mom's side, Christmas morning with his parents, and Christmas Day with my Dad. It's quite a busy day!
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and Christmas is always a bit tough! I love being with my husband's family and learning about their traditions. But it is always hard to be away from my family. We've done pretty much the same thing every year since I was born. Change is good and hard at the same time.
having kids was definitely the game changer for us. it made us both focus on what WE really wanted to create as our family traditions. we had to let some of the "obligations" fall away in order to do this and there have been some bumps that go along with that, but i highly recommend creating some for just the two of you (and as children come the 3, 4, 5...;) of course we still spend time with both our families around the holidays... it's a balancing act. but most certainly my favorite traditions now are the ones we've carved out for each other and the little family that lives under our roof.
merry christmas!
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